TIPS TO MAKE SASURAL A GENDA PHOOL                                                                                                                  

Hoye Hoye……                                      

Saiyaan Ched Dewe Nanad Chutki Leve                          

Sasural Genda Phool

Saas Gaari Deve Dewar Smajha Leve

Sasural Genda Phool

Yes my dear friendssssss……..sasuraal is like a Genda phool.

When you get married and if it is arrange marriage and if you are staying with you in laws then every bride feels butterflies in her stomach. 

                                                                                                                        

Everything is new to you, home, people, kitchen, customs, even the person to whom you married is also new to you. You have to cope with such changes and at the same time you have to understand everybody.

As all people are new to you, in a similar way you are also new to these people. Understand that, these people will also take some time to understand you. One of the points I wanted to convey is that you should not make any prior assumptions without knowing your new people. Remember that what you give, you will get back…………..

Dear Ladies, I also got married two years back and I too had faced post marital changes  in relationship. There are so many factors which make you nervous while entering into new house like nature /behavior of your new relatives, food interest, culture, attitude, choice and what not. Perhaps I can’t list all these. 

I want to share most important 15 tips to you ladies out of my own experience to be at ease in your new home:-

             

• Give respect to everybody.
• Do not be shy. Speak up and spend quality time with them.
• Help your relatives in their works and try to understand them, about    their hobby, rules, regulations etc etc.
• Get up early and wrap up your things fast.      
• If you do not how to cook or if you do not know how to operate some  machines etc. etc. then just go and tell to the person politely about   your  incapacity to do the said work and try to learn the same.
•  If you are going out then inform your elderly people in the house. Similarly if you are not feeling well or are not comfortable with some things then you  should inform them politely otherwise they will never know what is  happening and unnecessary misunderstanding will be there.
•  If somebody is coming to visit you then inform them in advance.
•  Give respect to their rules, culture and customs. Try to follow the same.
•  Most important – take care of your husband
•  Do not take all responsibilities on your head. Share them.
•  Focus on positives.
•  Avoid comparison of your parent’s home with your in laws home.
•  Do not gossip.
•  Keep faith in relationship and always keep environment friendly.
•  Appreciate people.

Always keep in mind that first impression is the last impression. Be little caution about your behavior, attitude and gesture. Above mentioned tips I would recommend newlywed bride to keep in mind. Once you get acquainted with others then it will be very easy for you to manage the family. You will enjoy each and every thing with feeling any burden. 

Song “sasuraal genda phool” from bolly wood movie Delhi 6 is very true in the sense that the scene created in the song is very natural and this shows the transition of a lady who started liking her in law house.

I am very sure that after spending couple of months with your new family you will feel one of them and your butterflies stop flying in your stomach hhhhhhhaa.

ARE YOU REALLY CONNECTED WITH YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS? OR JUST STAYING TOGETHER AND SHARING ROOF……..?

If somebody asked you, what is family? What will be your answer? Just think for a second and see what answer you get it in your mind. This answer will reflect your involvement/connectivity/attachment with your family. For me, family is a precious gift from Almighty.

Family system in our society: -

Nuclear family: - Husband, wife, children (Max members 4 or 5)

Joint family (Relatively small):- Grandparents, Parents, Siblings, Spouse, Parents in Law, Kids (Max Members 6 to 10)

Joint family (Relatively large):- Grandparents, Parents, Siblings, Spouse, Parents in Law, Kids, Uncle, aunty, cousin (Max Members 10 to 14)

Present situation/ daily routine:-

If you observe present situation, you can find that we are so busy in our work, may be in office, in studies or in some other activities that we are not having time for our own people. We are very much struck in our own world in such a way that we cannot attend our children, parents or grandparents; we are not having time to listen to their problems or enjoy things together. We don’t know what is happening in life of our family members.

See the matrix below and assess yourself in terms of quality time spend with your family:-

Attributes	Yes or No
Do you leave home after 9:00AM in the morning for work?
Do your children get up before you leave in the morning for office?
Do you meet your parents before going?
Do you have time to take enough breakfast?
In office, do you have time to call your wife to say that u reached office safely?
During lunch hour, do you have time to call your home for some casual talk?
Do you reach home in the evening?
Do you spend some time with your parents and children and inquire about their day?
Do you watch TV or devote time for your hobby?
Do you spend weekend with   family?
Do you know when your children are having their exams?
Do you take your parents for health checkups?
Do you take your family for   picnic, movie or present at home on every function?

This list is only indicative not exhaustive. If your maximum answers are NO then you are not having work life balance. There is strong need to interact with your family otherwise your will be left alone someday and you are failing on your duties.

So please, get a wakeup call and give time to your most precious people. Believe me your people love you; they need ur time and attention.

How to connect?

See, here are some easy, simple activities to do together with family members to stay connected with them:-

Dinner: - Make sure that all members of the family should take their dinner together. It’s a famous proverb that “the family who eat together stay together”. Try to avoid any call and avoid television also. Just sit together and have dinner.

Games: - Try to take out some time from your busy schedule (probably after dinner or late in the evening) to play indoor games like carom, cards, business or play station etc. It is the easiest way to share time and fun with children.  

TV watching/Movie: - At least watch any one of the TV soap which everybody likes together.

Picnic: - What an idea. Just go for a picnic somewhere nearby and relax.

Family function: - Try to attend all family functions with your family with full enthusiasm.

What you can get out of this?

Of course the most important, a sense of great satisfaction. Your family will be happy. You will be connected with your spouse, children and parents. You will be more active and happy. You will understand the thinking of your children, can take care of parents and at the same time you will learn amazing things from all these people.

So just CONNECT WITH THE FAMILY AND BECOME THE ROLE MODEL for others.

Do not forget to share tips to others for keeping their family happy.